Thriving through the first trimester

The physical effects of the first trimester can vary greatly for everyone. Some may only notice feeling tired, but notice no other changes. Others may not notice any symptoms at all. Then there are those that get hit with all of the symptoms, like major fatigue, morning (or all day and into forever) sickness, emotional highs and lows...I’ve been there and it is rough. 

While scouring the internet for information on first trimester hacks, I noticed that everything revolved around advice for combatting nausea which can be helpful, though admittedly I had very little success with a majority of the tips I found. This was disappointing to me because after having gone through some difficult pregnancies the one thing I remember struggling with is feeling frustrated that I couldn’t just feel normal and how suddenly ordinary tasks felt like climbing mountains. I was sick, exhausted, and felt defeated as life seemed to pile up around me when all I really wanted to do was just feel well, be excited, and enjoy my time growing a human.

So, out of this need of my own I felt compelled to share my own tricks on surviving the first trimester or you know, the portion of pregnancy that is really, really hard...even if it’s the whole thing. First things first: 

Rest as much as possible

Sleep in. Take naps. Even if all you can sneak in is a cat nap here and there. Listen to your body when it tells you that it’s tired.

Accept help, or delegate out tasks

It’s ok to be vocal about being tired or not feeling well and needing others to do more. When someone offers extra help, say yes! If no one offers, ask for some extra help. If it’s in the budget, consider hiring someone to help with household tasks.

Let go of the guilt

Be kind to yourself! While it may not feel like much right now, your body is hosting and the growth of every essential structure that is present in a human being. That is amazing, and it really is ok if you didn’t check anything else off your to-do list for the day. Take advantage of your good days and enjoy any victories, no matter the size of them.

Honor that body

It really is important to fuel and care for your body during this time of growth and change as much as you can. I know food can be a tricky one, but nutrient dense foods in small, but frequent amounts and staying hydrated can be helpful. I will say the one thing that has made a difference with nausea was trying to get ahead of it by eating high protein foods first thing in the morning before my morning (all day and into forever) sickness had a chance to realize I was awake. When you’re feeling restless treat yourself to a nice epsom salt bath. If you’re feeling up to it, try some gentle stretches and get some fresh air.

Communicate with your provider

Talk with your provider openly about how you are feeling. Don’t hesitate to ask for recommendations on ways to cope with feeling ill. It’s okay to acknowledge your struggles and to want relief. You’ve got this.

COVID-19, DOULAS, AND YOUR OPTIONS

Covid-19 is a topic that is largely unavoidable at this point in current affairs, and it is impacting the birthing world, most specifically those in the hospital setting. 

Birthing parents are expressing concern over how Covid-19 will affect their birth, and assessing the risks of birthing in hospitals that may be experiencing strain as a result of this virus. 

As a precaution, many hospitals have placed stringent limits on visitors and birth attendants, unfortunately making it difficult for doulas to support their clients during birth. It is important that hospitals understand that even during this time, doulas are not visitors. 

Here is a statement regarding AWHONN’s (the Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric, and Neonatal Nurses) position on doulas during this time:

“Doulas are not visitors and should not be blocked from caring for patients in the antepartum, intrapartum and postpartum period. Most doulas have been contracted by patients weeks to months ahead of time and have established provider relationships. They are recognized by AWHONN and ACOG as essential personnel and part of the maternity care team,” states Nancy Travis, AWHONN member, MS, BSN, RN, BC, CPN, CBC, Florida Section Chair. 

Contact your choice hospital/providers to ensure they are made aware of this information, verify that your doula will not be considered under visitor status, and request documentation to protect your rights and be put at ease that your birth team will remain intact. 

If you are feeling uneasy about entering the hospital under current circumstances, know that there are other options available to low-risk birthing people. 

If this is the case, consider contacting local midwives and inquire about choosing or switching to birthing at home or in a birth center. Midwives are highly trained professionals that have all the equipment and medications to manage complications. They have the knowledge and skill set to recognize situations outside the norm that would necessitate a transfer long before things turn emergent. 

Lastly, if a hospital is your only option and you are feeling nervous, take a deep breath. Find a doula to support you and work through your fears. Focus on relaxation techniques and fear releasing exercises.

Tips On Building Your Birth Team

So you’re ready to start building your birth team. You’re scouring Google, you’re hive minding local parenting groups, asking friends/family for recommendations in order to find the people that are going to be by your side through the childbearing year. ⁣ ⁣

Having a baby is an event that will impact you greatly and is something you will always remember. Having a team you love and that makes you feel like you are walking into this fully supported is important!⁣ ⁣

Based on your findings, it is recommended to interview a few prospective providers, doulas, etc. (although, sometimes when you really click and know, you know!)⁣ ⁣ Think about the things that are important to you during this experience and write down your questions as you brainstorm to have them ready to interview. ⁣

Knowing where and how you intend to give birth will narrow down your search. ⁣ Think of different scenarios that can arise and ask your interviewees their approach and how they can support you through those variations.

Some questions you might ask are:⁣

“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳?”⁣

“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩?”⁣

“𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘦?”⁣

Most importantly though, go with someone that excites you to move forward with them on your team!⁣ Have you already chosen someone but are beginning to feel on the fence about them?⁣

-𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭.

What Doulas Do

So many times I’m asked, “What exactly does a doula do?” and I’m always feeling as if the general description falls short in encompassing the range and depth of our role in supporting people through their experiences regarding pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum. In my time serving as a doula, my role has varied greatly from client to client dependent upon their needs and chosen (or sometimes not chosen) birthing experiences. The details of this work reside under a rather large umbrella of a word that in and of itself implies strength and upholding: support. 

A doula’s support is fluid and adaptable. Reinforcing and yet, pliable. Attuning to the degrees of need that occur during a person’s time in this space. The general definition of a doula is that we provide physical, emotional, and informational support. This gives a broad explanation but I feel that it runs right over the complexities of this heart work. 

Birth is in its entirety, a physically demanding feat. No matter the way in which birth occurs a doula is there to assist in ensuring their clients are made as physically comfortable as possible. We utilize a myriad of comfort techniques in order to alleviate the feelings that accompany the rapid changes birthing bodies make. These comfort measures can include suggesting position changes, using a comforting touch or counter pressure, applying cool washcloths or running warm baths, or just simply being a hand to hold. When wanted, physical touch can lessen the feelings of intense sensations and bring a state of calm and security.  
A doula’s physical presence allows more hands to ensure that everyone is taken care of, nourished, and hydrated because when everyone on the birthing team feels their best, the birthing person can receive the best possible care. Support from doulas is there to help push through the hard moments, the shift changes, and the times that plans take a different direction than intended. We feel with you, breathe with you, and are there for you.

The arrival of new life can bring with it a lot of feelings and emotions that need to be unpacked or processed and we are here for that. Words of encouragement can go a long way and help keep the birthing person focused and feel confident as they labor. We are empathetic to the highs, the lows, and show up for everything in between. In the difficult circumstances that sometimes occupy a birth, we remain constant. Knowing what it means, and how important it is to hold space for our clients, great care is taken to be able to know and understand when there is a need for active support—and when it is time to step back and hold the space. Your emotional well-being is of the utmost importance to us and you deserve to feel heard and validated. As your doula, our focus is on supporting you fully, without judgment or bias through all of your choices.

In the age of information it can feel overwhelming when considering doing any research on certain topics or to look for local recommendations. Aside from expert training, education, and experience regarding the childbearing year, doulas have access to a wide variety of materials such as books, article links, and local resources that may be of interest to you. If and when desired, we can provide our clients with information on any of the topics they’re interested in learning more about, or let your know about highly recommended professionals local to you.

Go ahead, get yourself a doula 🧡

Doulas: The Cream and Sugar to a Birthing Experience

You know what I love about coffee? It’s completely adaptable to my desires.

I enjoy having coffee as part of my morning wakeup routine. It gives me (at least, I think it still does) the extra little push I need as someone that doesn’t get the suggested amount of sleep in order to function outside of a sloth speed.
On brisk, dark days I can have it hot to warm my spirits and my hands. Or have it iced to keep me cool when the temperatures rise. I go through varying degrees of coffee drinking. Sometimes I enjoy my coffee teeming with bold flavors, and at others I cave to my sweet tooth by adding some agave and hemp milk for something a little more decadent. The way another person prefers their coffee doesn’t impact the way I drink mine.
Does my coffee need anything to help me through the day?
Well, no, it doesn’t. Black is great too and gets the job done just as much as any other way.
Does adding to it make the experience of drinking coffee that much sweeter?
You bet it does!
And much like these additions are to coffee, a doula is to their client. Does a birthing person need a doula to get through labor and birth?
Well, let’s see here…
Birthing people are fully capable of having their babies without the support of a doula. That’s the awe-inspiring thing about humans. No matter the details that rest between the lines of the story, babies will be born by the people that birth them. They are able to do their own research, if they want to. They make the best decisions for their family and their unique-to-them situations. Even if things get really, really hard people are resilient and make it through. Doulas are there though, to enhance the experience. To elevate their clients to a place where they are heard, encouraged, and supported. They show up for all of it, and the support they offer is tailored to the individuals they work with to provide a unique and customized experience.
So the short answer would be: No, they sure don’t! Doulas can however, make the experience that much sweeter. They are the cream and sugar to a birthing experience.

Snow is Falling, Baby is Coming

It’s three days before Christmas, a Saturday, and everything’s a bustle with holiday plans. We were set to go out to my dad’s house to get in as much time with my sister and her family while they were visiting from out of town, and then have dinner at my brother’s house later that eveing. When we arrived at my dad’s it was about 9:30 am. My husband Chris and my brother-in-law left to do some last minute shopping, and I stayed with my sister.

Shortly after they left, I felt what I was sure was the beginning of early labor but I didn’t give them much attention. Aside from running an errand, we stayed there visiting—I did a whole lot of resting on the couch. We planned on still going to my brothers. Around 2 pm my contractions were still hanging around and I was having bloody show. I decided that we should skip dinner and go home to get things ready instead. I sent a text to my birth team that though it wasn’t time yet, that I was having signs.
Chris and I got ready to leave—our oldest decided to hang back so he could hang out with his cousins, V came with us.

When we arrived back at our house we straightened up, blew up the birth pool, and got things ready—I was timing contractions more closely at this point. They were inconsistent, ranging anywhere between 6-10 minutes apart. Chris and I hung out on the couch watching T.V. and he made us dinner while V buzzed around the house between watching her movie and playing.
I did a lot of resting over my birth ball and trying to nap. When the contractions didn’t make any changes I decided to get up and move around to try and get baby into a more optimal position. I walked circles around my house, enlisted Vayda’s company in a dance party in the playroom (don’t tell Chris…he thinks I’m weird enough 😉), and ultimately reached for my woven wrap for my belly. I wrapped it across my belly, crossed it behind my back, and put each end over my shoulders. I sat this way while I bounced on my birth ball and tugged the ends of the wrap with each contraction. It wasn’t long after that the intensity of my contractions grew and became consistent and closer together.

My sister arrived and sat in the living room with Chris and I. I was still on my ball watching my contractions which were now 4-5 minutes apart. I kept telling my sister, “One more and I’ll call the midwives”.
At 10:47 pm I called my midwife, Terri and let her know I was ready for her to come. A call followed to Sue, our birth photographer to tell her the same.
While we were waiting for the birth team and my mom to arrive, my contractions increased in intensity and I no longer wanted to sit. I paced around the house while we debated the best time to start filling the birth pool.

It seemed like everyone arrived nearly around the same time.

My mom showed up and I snagged a hug from her while I worked through a contraction.

My midwife, Terri checking my temperature.

My sister, Ashley put water on to boil for the inevitable emptying of the hot water tank while filling up the birth pool.

We ran a hose from the shower in our only bathroom to the room the birth pool was in, which was fine up until I wanted to use the bathroom and the hose was draped over the bathroom door preventing it from closing. After some help from Sue, (because somethingsomething helping stubborn women with tasks in labor somethingsomething…😉) I enjoyed some privacy and was ready to get into the pool.

Getting into the water was immediately relieving, and I was able to relax a little more. Things were more intense at this point, and the details blend together. I was given the space I needed to labor in peace, but was checked and loved on—I never felt alone. Vayda even came in to check on me and give me the sweetest of her affections.

I found myself having a difficult time letting go of my contractions. The intensity built and lingered, despite my inner encouragement to surrender and melt into them.
Terri told me that it was snowing—I loved the thought of snow falling while my baby emerged.

At some point with the strength of my contractions and the way I could feel my body making changes. I reached down and to my surprise I could already feel baby’s head.
My body took over and without conscious effort baby was heading through what felt like pretty quickly. Kneeling in the birth pool, I was supporting my perineum while trying to pace my body to avoid tearing. I thought with the next contraction the head would be born and I could take pause from the building pressure. Instead, as the baby’s head emerged, the rest slipped along my hand, and as quickly as I realized, I was annoucing baby was coming!

12/23, 12:32 am: We did it! I sat back to catch a breath and revel in everything that just happened. This baby was perfect and I was just so elated to meet this sweet face. Although we chose not to find out the sex of the baby Chris and I were sure we were having a girl. We were wrong and I was so surprised. I exlaimed, “You’re a boy!” and I was overjoyed.

I still don’t even have the words to describe my feelings for everything after. My husband, daughter, mom, and sister had their first look at him and when I saw how Vayda looked at her little brother I felt my heart grow. Loki Allen is everything I never knew we needed.
I stayed in the pool waiting on my placenta. I relaxed while Loki and I acquainted ourselves with each other for the first time as two.

When the placenta came, it was time to move into our bedroom. After Vayda’s birth, Chris learned that cutting umbillical cords is not his thing, so Vayda stepped up to the challenge with Haley’s expert help. Afterwards, Haley weighed and measured him.

Things were winding down and we were settling in. Chris held Loki for the first time and our wonderful midwives drew up and herbal bath for Loki and I, cleaned up, and tucked us in for the night. My mom headed home and my sister stayed the night in case we needed anything. This experience though slightly foggy in my postpartum haze, is unforgettable for all the right reasons. I felt safe, supported and loved and although I had a few choice words in and immediately after labor, I would absolutely do it all over again.

Special shout out to our incredible birth photographer, Sue Johnson for capturing these special moments, and to our amazing Spokane River Midwives for their beyond amazing care. I will cherish this memory forever. ❤️

No-Bake Lactation Cookies

Growing up most of my memories are of me sitting on countertops watching my mom or my nanna while they cooked. The kitchen was a focal point in quality time with family. It is no wonder that I grew up to be equally happy to cook food that others enjoy.
The one difference is that typically in my family, recipes are not written down and if they are they might as well be guarded by dragons. I am not like that though. I mean, I still cook from memory but I like to share recipes with others (maybe a few have dragons...). I enjoy cooking for others and I love for them to be able to take something else away from the experience.

One thing I am often asked for is my recipe for lactation cookies. What I love most about no-bake cookies is how simple they are to put together. They whip up fast, which is great for busy lifestyles, and I dont even have to turn my oven on.

3/4 c coconut oil
3/4 c cashew milk (or any other milk)
2/3 c coconut sugar
1 t pure vanilla extract
1 c peanut butter
1/4 c dutch cocoa powder
2 c rolled oats
1 c almonds, finely chopped or blended
1/3 c ground flax
1/2 c shredded coconut
1/4 c Brewers yeast

In a medium saucepan combine coconut oil, cashew milk, vanilla, sugar, peanut butter, and cocoa powder over medium heat. Bring mixture to a boil. Add oats and reduce to a med-low heat. Allow oats to rest for 3 minutes. Stir in remaining ingredients and remove from heat. 
On a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper, scoop out into even amounts and flatten with a spatula. Allow cookies to rest at room temperature for 15 minutes. Transfer to fridge to allow cookies to completely cool and set up.